CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIA — The premiere Apple event that fewer and fewer people look forward to every year is here once again.
Fanboys across the world who were lucky enough to get invites to the Apple fall product launch were treated to an exclusive for your eyes only event.
Unless you have internet.
In that case, it's available online.
Apple released its three new iPhones for 2019.
This year's lineup includes the iPhone Expensive, the iPhone Overpriced and the iPhone Really Overpriced Pro.
Sure they look pretty much like identical twins from last year's phones, but there were some new bells and whistles.
What good is a phone today if it doesn't come with amazing camera options?
In addition to the existing telephoto and wide-angle lenses, some models now have a new ultra wide-angle lens for that perfect selfie.
The new iPhone screens are apparently tougher to crack due to new shatter-resistance technology as well as better water resistance.
Apple also debuted a bunch of other completely brand new same old same old products.
Hey, and if you were smart enough to get the Apple Credit Card, now you have some shiny new overpriced stuff to charge.