How to cope with life stuck inside from the stars of reality TV

It's somewhere around episode seven that reality stars begin to lose the plot. In the Big Brother house, someone's used another contestant's stock cube and they're crying about it over a cigarette. It's a few degrees too cold but instead of putting on a jumper, they're in the diary room saying they want to go home. Meanwhile, on Love Island, after hearing the villa's new entrant say they "want to get to know everyone equally", an Islander is seductively eating a popsicle on their partner's knee.